My Garden of Memories
by Chaotic Insomnia
Summary: Yoko and Hiei tragic pasts have brought the two together. But,can they open up to each other? And will they be torn apart when someone falls in love with Yoko? Yaoi YokoXHiei paring. R&R.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I am thankful, because I hate that show and wouldn't want to own it.

_I was walking and I saw a familiar figure. It was you there, under that dying oak tree. Your soul was in the same condition—dying. You stared blankly at the sky, barely noticing I was there_

_I asked you what you were doing there. You asked me the same, avoiding eye contact with me. Your long hair hiding your beauty. The way you sounded, I became concerned, but did not show it._

_Your voice became shaky when you told me she was gone. You were being pathetic, but deep down I sympathized. You were lost and confused. I felt the same, but for a different reason._

_A cold breeze came through. You weren't dressed for the cold weather. Your body noticed, but you didn't. I ordered you to go home before you froze the death. Winter was coming, but you weren't taking the hint._

_That's when you asked me. No, you told me. You wanted me to live with you. I was lost for a second until you explained. "You have no where to go and I need a friend." You sounded desperate, like you would die if you didn't have this one thing._

_I wasn't sure at first, but you were right. I was just wondering around. And you really did need a companion to listen and understand. I still had my uncertainties, but I accepted your offer._

_You were thankful. You made it obvious. I remained cold and unaffected. Even though I rolled my eyes, I really did care and I knew it meant a lot to you. That is why I said yes._

_You wanted a friend. I wanted someone who actually thought about me. In time, we got more than we wanted. But, I wouldn't change anything about the outcome. That's how much you mean to me.

* * *

_

It's a poem! Sorry for submiting the first chapter before the prologue. A friend of mine was like "you should make a prologue." And I was like "But I already have the first chapter." Then she was like "it doesn't matter." So I wrote itand then I made it into a poem. I hate narrative poems, but this isn't about me, so enjoy.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: Pieces of a Poem**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho and would hate to. I own the poems though! And the fic itself.

_I sit here waiting for you_

_Thinking about how I used to love you._

_Then you walk in late as always and I scold you._

_Then you flash me that reassuring smile and I fall in love again._

_When I'm with you, though I can't breathe, I feel safe._

The room was dimly lit with only a fireplace providing light for the big room creating a homey atmosphere. He hated it. Though he appreciated the semi-darkness in the room he felt that there should be a big happy family somewhere around here, but there was only him.

Many times he contemplated leaving this house that was obviously made for more than one. Every time he was ready to leave he was stopped by an annoying and strong force. He wished that it would disappear, but it kept tugging at his heart, forcing him to stay. He could and would not abandon this house.

He knew of the source. The tall, slender figure he had known for a long time. Lifelong friends now turned into something more. That tall figure was the reason for this unbearable force.

It could make him cry with worry. It could make him sigh with relief. It could make him scream in frustration. It could relieve him of stress. It could make him so angry, but it could also give him happiness. For these reasons it gave him nausea and also gave him comfort.

Once again, he got up to leave. Now he had the desire to kill. He got halfway to the door before it opened. The tall, beautiful figure walked in, trapping him in the house again. He stayed planted in his spot, making sure he kept a stern and angered look on his face.

"Where have you been?" he questioned demandingly.

"I got held up. I'm sorry. The boss wanted to talk to me," this figure answered guiltily. Then the figure started to get settled in.

"You couldn't have called?"

"I didn't know it was going to take so long. Why are you so worried?"

He sighed and walked away. The answer was known to both people, but some like to ask anyways. He was followed into the living room and the figure sat next to him. He kept the same annoyed look on his face. He was pulled into a passionate hug by the one who felt guilty.

"Hiei, you worry too much. I would never hurt you, you know that. I am the equivalent of Old Faithful."

"I don't know that for sure. Kitsunes aren't meant to be trusted," Hiei half joked half serious.

Yoko still laughed. He squeezed tighter hoping that Hiei would finally give in.

It worked as always. He could never stay mad at the clever kitsune. Such is the nature of a fox. He sank into Yoko's welcoming arms.

Yoko sighed and smiled. He rested his cheek on the spiky but soft tar colored hair of Hiei's and drifted into his own thoughts. He tried to imagine what his life if he didn't come home with Hiei waiting for him. He couldn't. After what had happened in the past he'd never let anything happen to Hiei. His faithfulness born from past tragedies. He never had the opportunity to get this close to Kuronue and this one would not slip away from him.

Hiei closed his eyes for a little while and concentrated on the warmth he always felt when he was with Yoko. Every time he tried to break free he would be pulled back in by the sensation. He was bound to Yoko now and always.

Yoko pushed some of Hiei's hair out of his face to admire the features. He couldn't think of more adorable, and he seemed so innocent with his eyes shut. Then he wished he could shut his eyes and leave this world (Which is called Harmony. Any questions, ask me.) Somewhere in some other realm with only Hiei there to keep him company. Yoko kissed the top of his head and stayed there.

Hiei now opened up his eyes. He gently tugged at Yoko's arm indicating freedom. Yoko reluctantly set him free from his grasp. Hiei got up and walked up the stairs absent-mindedly. Yoko sat there and watched him in silence.

Hiei walked into the bedroom. He sat down on the bed. He touched the top of the bedpost where the gold connected with the wood. He turned to the door where he had heard a knock. There stood that same tall, clever figure that he had known for a long time.

"Are you okay?" Yoko asked quietly. The concern on his face was unmistakable.

All he received was a nod and a forced smile. Somehow, that wasn't satisfactory. Yoko sat down next to Hiei with an attempted humble look.

"Hiei, if there's something on your mind you can talk to me."

He did not look at him, but stared at the floor instead. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, don't worry about it."

He let it go. Somehow he knew that if he kept pressuring it he would be pushed away. Yoko leaned towards him, wrapping one arm around the small waist and caressing his cheek with his other hand. At that moment, with his lips, he made the connection he longed to make, so softly. It was so perfect for the mood of the moment.

Now, with his eyes closed, Hiei grabbed the silver hair against Yoko's neck. The silver hair he had grown to adore. It was all so familiar.

* * *

I had to resubmit this chapter because I made the prologue. There are poems at the beginning of all the chapters. I like it.I like me poems. Later, I guess. 


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Wet Sand**

**Disclaimer:** Still don't want to own it. It's still not mine.The poems are, though. So are the original characters you will see in this chapter. Sorry for my Oocness.

_Tossed and turned._

_That's how I feel._

_I know you care. _

_And I want to tell you my secrets._

_I want to confide in you._

_But, as soon as I open my mouth to tell you, my words are lost._

_Please, just have patience. _

_Hopefully, one day, my chamber will be open._

Hiei woke up to the sound of the ever so annoying alarm clock blaring in his ear. He reached an arm over to turn off the alarm. Once he had done that he glanced at the time. If only time could be frozen or reversed, but it must move forward, and because of this so must all living things. This was going through Hiei's mind as he noticed the empty space next to him.

He laid there silently. He could hear Yoko rushing around downstairs getting ready. He did not feel like going down there to send Yoko farewells and wishing him a nice day. When he heard the door close he sighed. Everyday and every morning; there was nothing different about this particular one.

Yoko walked to work that day rather quickly, as if he was rushed. An assumption would be that he was running late, but this youkai was never late. That was one of his missions. A possibility could be that he had extra energy that day.

He walked in once he approached the big business doors. Yoko saw somebody wave at him-- a co-worker—he waved back. He checked in. He was twelve minutes early, a new record for him. He continued his journey to his office.

Yoko was highly respected for he held a high and trusted position in this company. A company that's specialty dealt in security. As simple as it seems there are more complicated things about this company. The basics include the three main sectors- the defensive department, the offensive department and the information department. Yoko- he was in charge of the defensive department.

"Hi Yoko," he heard behind him. He turned to identify the face for the voice sounded familiar.

"Hey!"

The voice came from Jakotsu, a good friend. He was equally ranked with Yoko, for he was head of the information department. Yoko arrived a little after Jakotsu did. They met at a company meeting where everyone had to get to know everyone else. They hit it off immediately, but then again, Jakotsu got along with everyone, as long as they weren't a female, Jakotsu hating women. But Yoko, he was a real friend of Jakotsu's. Most of the others had been a toy at one time.

"So, how are things with Hiei?"

"I can't tell. There's something he's not telling me."

"That's always the worst."

They finally reached Yoko's office. It was a typical office. A big desk with a large computer chair on the side closest to the wall, then two comfy chairs on the other side and the backs of them was facing the door. There was also a huge bookcase against one of the walls. Everything was matching and was an oak color. Yoko sat down in the big computer chair while Jakotsu followed pursuit in one of the comfy chairs across the desk.  
"What should I do?"

"Don't worry about it. Let him come to you."

Yoko put an elbow on the desk. Then he propped his head up by resting it in the palm of his hand. He looked like he was thinking this advice over carefully. Then when there was a knock on the doorway both males jumped.

Standing in the doorway was Yoko's personal assistant, Takiyo. Takiyo was a female demon, which is more than likely a surprise for this male dominant company. (A gay male dominant company…) She was of an athletic form, which added more to her mysterious beauty. Pointy ears stuck out from her auburn colored hair that perfectly shaped her face. Her blue tips rested on her shoulders and her purple bangs covered her forehead. Her crystal blue eyes were frozen in a glare that matched her personality. She didn't like to smile, for she didn't want to show her fangs, and kept a cold demeanor because of this. And she always made an effort to keep her claws filed.

"Come on in," Yoko spoke sternly as he gave her permission to enter.

"Yes sir," Takiyo responded respectfully. As you can see she tends to prefer that things remain formal. Then she took one look at Jakotsu. "Good morning, Jakotsu. I'm sorry to tell you, but Mr. Kurama is already committed to someone. I guess you can't have your fun."

Jakotsu gave her a playful smirk. "Why would I play with him when I could just kiss his ass?"

Her face formed a death glare. "It's called 'work'. Maybe you could try doing that sometime instead of doing other guys."

Jakotsu glared at her back. Takiyo gave a triumphant smirk.

Before Jakotsu could say anything back Yoko interfered. "You two enough!"

Jakotsu looked at Yoko with a babyish ashamed look. Apparently, it was supposed to be cute, but it was far from it. Takiyo gave Jakotsu a disgusted look. Then her expression became serious again. To those that didn't really know her, they could find this look frightening.

"Takiyo, what did you come here for?"

"Boss wanted me to remind you that you are to be at the new employee meeting thing." No one knew what to call it. They called it a meeting, but it was more like a party.

"I'm still working on this project! Can't she see that I've got stuff to do?"

"I think she's got a stick too far up her ass to care."

"At least she has something stuck up her ass. You can't even give yourself pleasure," Jakotsu laughed.

"And I count on you to know what that feels like. It may not be a stick, but you always got something stuck up your ass as well."

Jakotsu searched, but couldn't find anything to come back with. Takiyo came out victorious once again.

"Boss wants you there, now."

"Tell her I'm on my way."

She bowed and left Yoko's office.

"Bitch…"

"Why do you hate each other?"

Jakotsu pouted. "Well, she started it."

They both chuckled and Yoko left to meet the new employees. Jakotsu lingered for a little before going to his own office.

When Yoko reached the meeting office he sighed. Then he opened the wooden door. He tried to close it softly so he wouldn't hurt any of the demons with sensitive ears, including the ears of the hyena demon they called boss. She was nearby at a punch table talking to a beautiful young male. They both looked Yoko's way.

"Ah Yoko! There you are!" The female rushed over to him with the male calmly following. She was also beautiful, but she had a curvy frame. She had long gray hair and conspicuous hyena ears on the top of her head. Her eyes were teal and warm. Her lips looked like they were stained by blood, unlike Takiyo's dark lips that matched her skin. "Yoko, I would like for you to meet one of your new employees, Okima."

Yoko shook his hand professionally. He was surprised by the strong hand shake from this pretty boy. He kind of reminded him of his human form, Suuichi. (That's how I spell his name. If you got a problem with it, then jump off the nearest cliff!) He was so relieved that they were divided so Suuichi could run off with some human girl and he no longer had to be trapped in the pits of Suuichi's mind.

"Good day Mr. Kurama!"

"Hello."

Okima seemed very energetic and cheerful. Oh great, an optimist, Yoko thought. He almost looked human. He was about six feet tall. He had short sea green hair that rested on the back of his neck. His eyes were of a deep aqua color. His skin looked tanned and he was thinly, but muscular shaped. Looking at this boy made Yoko think of a beach. Maybe he was a surfer. It wouldn't have surprised him.

"Now that you are acquainted with each other, talk, get to know each other. I'll be over here," Boss encouraged.

"Yes ma'am," they both said.

"Maybe you two could train together sometime?" she suggested.

Yoko and Okima ignored the question and bowed. They walked to another part of the meeting room. They decided to move for two reasons. They wanted to get away from the talkative hyena. Also, they were in the way of the people trying to enter.

Yoko's curiosity started the conversation with an appropriate question. "So, what kind of demon are you?"

"I'm a water demon."

"An elemental demon. I know a few of those."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you see that guy with the blue right there?" He pointed at someone.

"Yeah."

"That's Touya. He's an ice master. And you see that red-headed guy he's standing really close to?"

"The one he just kissed on the cheek?"

"Yeah, that's Jin. He controls the wind."

"Oh."

"I'm a bit of an elemental demon myself."

"What kind of power do you have?"

"I can manipulate plants. There very lethal."

"That's cool!"

"It's really nothing."

Okima's cheerful expression seemed abnormally bright, almost childish. He smiled and he looked like a little kid. That reminded Yoko of his ex-girlfriend. (Can you believe that? He had a girlfriend! Koryu: You wrote it that way. EGF: So what?) She had a baby face too. She was truly adorable, and they would get weird looks when people saw them together.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter."

He remembered that she used to ask him that whenever he seemed trapped in his thoughts.

Her name was Sayomi, though she would go by the nickname Mimi. It was quite an appropriate nickname, for she was an incredible listener. And "mimi" was the also the Japanese word for ear. (Don't ask me how I know this. A little birdie told me.)

"You know if you need me for anything the door to my office is always open. I'll show you where it is."

Okima nodded his head in understanding. The way he had done it was very immature. He had such a warm smile that it was hard to believe that he was a demon. Sayomi would do things like that in such a matter. And her smile could light up the darkest dungeons if she allowed it to. This conversation was getting a little too painful. Yoko covered his agonized expression with his hand.

"Are you okay?"

Yoko had heard that question before. He could recall the scene now. He choked it up and faced Okima with a forced smile. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Okay…" Okima responded not too convinced.

"Would you like to get some punch or something?" Yoko asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Sure." Okima dropped the whole ordeal.

They walked over to the snack table. It was divided into two sections. One section was for demons that ate humans or human souls. The other section was for demons that ate human food. Okima grabbed a cookie after he poured himself some punch.

"Is there anything you would like to ask me?"

"Yes."

"Then what is your question?"

"Does that tail of yours get really annoying?"

Yoko looked at his obvious tail. He never really noticed it. "No, not really."

"Oh okay."

Yoko chuckled a little bit while Okima laughed. Yoko patted Okima's head. When Okima looked up Yoko noticed something unusual in his eyes. It was almost scary. Like there was a beast hidden inside this kind-hearted boy. Then he heard his name from the back of the room.

"Mr. Kurama, there's a phone call for you!"

"I'll be right back." He told his new friend.

He walked over to the phone in the back corner of the room. Good thing this party was semi-formal, this way he could hear the other person. Yoko took the call.

"Moshi, moshi?"

"Yoko."

"What Hiei?"

"You burnt another pot."

"Shit! Another one? I'll pick up one on my way home."

"Don't be late. And maybe you should take classes like I told you before."

"Hiei, I'm really busy right now. I'll talk to you later."

"Whatever just consider it."

"Bye." Yoko hung up rather annoyed. Hiei was always bothering him about taking classes. Specifically cooking classes. He kept apologizing for his lack of culinary knowledge. It wasn't his fault.

A hand touched his shoulder blade. It was Okima.

"TGIF?"

Yoko sighed, "TGIF."

* * *

Thanks to a friend of mine (I love you!) I have gotten over my complex. I feel like I can breath and being around my family is actually enjoyable. Yay! I was working on this forever. This chapter I mean. What will happen next? Don't ask me. 


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Past Away**

Disclaimer: I own you! I own everything! This world is mine! Your soul is mine! Everything and everyone you care about belongs to me! Everything is mine! Except for this show. I disown this show. It would be a disgrace to my name!

* * *

_Anything that you want_

_I'd do anything_

_Just to prove how much I care_

_How much you mean to me_

_How much I want you with me_

_Sometimes it's the little things that say the most_

Yoko held the pot close to him while he walked home. He looked down at the silent and stoic demon that walked next to him.

"Hiei, you didn't have to pick me up."

"You would've taken your time otherwise. I can't be waiting for you."

Yoko sighed. "You really don't trust me, do you?"

Instead of responding Hiei remained silent and looked away. Yoko looked at him sympathetically. He then looked the other way.

From that moment on the walk home was quiet. They were almost there when Hiei broke the awkward silence. He had a smirk on his face. It was almost like a triumphant smile.

"I made another call after I talked to you."

"Who did you call?"

"A cooking instructor."

"What? Why?"

"Because, I don't want another incident where you almost burn down the kitchen!"

Yoko sighed and pouted. There was no winning this argument for him. He calmly accepted his defeat and opened the gate to the house. They walked down the stone pathway leading to the door. When they reached the door Yoko got out his key and unlocked it. He looked at Hiei before he entered, with Yoko following behind.

Once he was inside Yoko closed the door behind him. He made his way to the kitchen to put away the pot in his arms. Once it was put away Yoko went to the living room and collapsed on the couch. At that moment he sighed loudly in relief.

Hiei stared at him quite amused. He could tell Yoko had a rough day. So, he decided to go into the kitchen, where he could see the garden the best.

He looked out onto the garden. Hiei loved that garden. Being in that garden brought back memories of those he loved, both in which he realized too late.

Was it him? Did he just have bad timing? Or was he too slow at seeing what was in front of him or inside of him? Maybe he was cursed to drive away those he cared for. Surely, he will be abandoned once again.

The thoughts that ran through his mind could make any mortal man go crazy and was slowly eating away at his sanity as well.

His green eyes and her green hair, looking out that window he could see them both. He spotted a yellow tulip. Her eyes flashed in his head. Then the rest of her pale face appeared.

He grabbed his chest, remembering the pain he felt. How stupid he was. He could read others mind, but he failed to realize that no one could read his. No one was there to say it for him, to make him realize. But, no one ever said it to him either.

Hiei heard a soft breathing. He walked out into the living room. There he saw Yoko sleeping. (Yeah… he sleeps now!)

'He's so obviously exhausted from the day. Then I was breathing down his neck. I'll let him sleep, for now,' Hiei thought.

For a couple of minutes he stood there watching Yoko in his peaceful slumber. Would there ever be a time where a demon would look so heavenly?

Then he watched a pained expression wash over Yoko's face. This worried him. What could he be dreaming? A question he may never know the answer to. (Because, I don't know the answer to it. I'm a lazy author.)

He couldn't stand Yoko's look of despair anymore and went out onto the garden. He walked straight past the tulips and the lilacs. He ignored the tomatoes, even though he didn't understand why Yoko wanted tomatoes.

He was finally there, in the middle of the garden where the fountain was. He sat down at the fountain that made him remember her.

Her hair that was so silky and long. Her eyes that was so big and sad. Her skin that was so soft and cold. The tears that rolled down her rosy cheeks that seemed to form such perfect glistening gems. Why she left him behind remains mysterious to him. He just wishes she hadn't.

He could hear the shrill calling of her name in the back of his mind. Through his head it would echo, Sakura. A name so appropriate, for it perfectly described the delicacy of her skin.

Hiei heard Yoko approaching and turned that way. Yoko's exhausted expression was obvious. The reason was not.

"You're awake?"

"The damned phone woke me up."

"Oh…who was it?"

"Yukina."

Hiei said nothing, but had a confused look on his face. He stared at Yoko, waiting for him to continue.

Yoko sighed. "She wanted to know if we still had the Staff of Mukubujio. Koenma needs that in his possession." (Ayame: Mukubujio? EGF: I so made it up. Ayame: I can see that. EGF: Nonetheless, it is a cool name! Ayame: Whatever…)

"Impatient bastard," responded Hiei in an annoyed voice. Then his face formed a bit of a serious expression.

Yoko sat down next to Hiei. Yoko's hand touched Hiei's cheek. Hiei buried his face in Yoko's chest.

"Shouldn't you tell her?"

"What nonsense are you speaking now?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Why should I?"

"Because she has the right to know."

"Yukina is pure. Why would she want me as her brother?"

"Don't assume so easily. Remember; she did come searching for you. She wants to know who her brother is, not who he was."

Hiei contemplated for awhile. Maybe Yoko was right. With all the changes he had made within himself, maybe he could be worthy enough to have her as his sister.

"Fine. I will tell her."

"This isn't for me. This is for you and her. You both deserve it."

Hiei felt a little twinge of happiness on the back of his neck. He found it a strange feeling. One he was not used to, but he seemed to just barely recognize it, like he had felt it before.

"The cherry blossoms are going to bloom soon."

"Spring is approaching."

"I want to see them."

"Maybe we will, if I don't have to work."

Hiei looked down, and then looked at the tomatoes. He really did wonder. Why grow tomatoes when you get the rest of your produce from the store? Even though, he had to admit, they looked better than the ones at the store.

"Yoko, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why do you grow tomatoes?"

There was a short silence.

"Maybe, one day I'll tell you."

This made Hiei even more anxious to know. What could Yoko be keeping from him? He tried to ignore it.

When Hiei looked up again Yoko was falling asleep. Sitting on a fountain is not a good place to go to sleep. This could prove to be amusing…

Hiei moved away slowly, making sure not to disturb Yoko. He walked over and sat on a bench really close by. After that he waited and watched.

Yoko's body rocked back and forth, looking for something to lean on. Soon, he leaned completely backwards, thus falling into the fountain. The cold water alerted him and now he was fully awake.

Yoko looked over to where he heard laughter. Sure enough, there Hiei sat, tears at the corner of his eyes. Yoko sighed then smiled.

"Hey Hiei. Your side is splitting."

Hiei didn't quit. Now, he was gasping for air. Then, he got up to help Yoko out the fountain when the kitsune held out his hand.

Hiei grabbed Yoko's hand. When that happened Yoko smirked. He yanked Hiei's hand, making Hiei fall in as well. Now, look who's laughing!

"You bastard," Hiei gasped when he arose from the water.

"Revenge IS sweet."

Hiei smiled then laughed with Yoko. Yoko, craving for Hiei's lips, took a little break from his laughter. By gently touching Hiei's chin he guided Hiei's face towards his own. Yoko caressed Hiei's lips with his own so softly before he locked lips with him. It was all so familiar…

* * *

EGF: I'm sorry it took me a really long time to update. My friend had it (because it's written out, I have only 1 1/2 chapters left to write.) I couldn't get it from her all summer. Then school started and I had band front and I just didn't have time to type the rest up. Updates are going to be really slow (not like they weren't before) because of my busy schedule. Not that a lot of people are reading this anyways. See ya next chapter in Yoko's P.O.V about his memories...I think... 


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: All My Breath**

_If I ever forgot you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself._

_Every minute we were together._

_Every moment we were apart._

_My memories of you stain my mind._

_And when I try to erase our past I'm left in the darkness.

* * *

_

--An ordinary day is how it started out to be. With clear skies everyone went on like they did everyday. Then, the peacefulness was torn by the loud sound of gunshots. Soon, the sidewalk was covered in blood. But, the blood that was attended was not the blood that was shed. And breath was taken away before breath was given. These facts turned everything dark as tears dropped on the corpse that was getting colder. There was a kiss on the cheek that continued to lose its color. He could feel the life slipping away from her.--

Whoa. Was that a dream? Defiantly not, it was a nightmare. But, there was so much blood to be an ordinary nightmare. And it felt as if it were all real, something I've been through before.

"Are you all right?"

It's just Hiei. He startled me. I guess he has the right to worry. I just woke up suddenly and I'm drenched in sweat. My breathing is heavy and I'm shivering. Who wouldn't worry? Wait, why is he awake? How long has he been sitting in that chair in the corner of the room?

"I'm fine. Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep."

I wonder why. Did he have a nightmare, as well? I wish he would tell me these things. Then again, I never tell him anything either. A relationship through secrecy will never last. I hope they were wrong. It hurts too much to lose another.

"What do you want to do?"

He looks like he's in deep thought. Hiei's always looked like that, but in reality, he doesn't always think everything through. His tough disposition makes up for his lack of common sense. (EGF: Uh…Dia? Have you ever noticed that all your sons lack common sense. Maybe that's saying something.)

"They bloom today. Let's go see them."

Of course. Today the cherry blossoms bloom. I don't understand why he is so obsessed with them. Maybe, it has something to do with his past. In that case, I won't ask. It's none of my business.

"Sure." I smile when I answer him. It makes Hiei blush when I smile at him.

Now, here we are. In the city you have to go to a botanical garden in order to witness the cherry blossoms. I prefer the ones in the wild.

We both enjoy coming here and are good acquaintances with the people that work here. He enjoys plants and gardens as much as I do. I wish he were the only one. I wish Hiei was the only one I ever wanted to be with.

But instead, Hiei plays a more important role. He will tell my future. It's either third times a charm, or three strikes and I'm out. If things work out I will achieve everlasting happiness. If they go bad then love was not meant for me.

I remember my first strike. I don't know why I ever loved him, but it happened. Then his stupidity and reliance on that damned pendant cost him his life. We had just realized our feelings for each other far surpassed friendship, and then all that had to happen.

It was like every other time we went on a job to steal something valuable. Each time we stole another item we were risking our lives, but this time something went terribly wrong. We had been discovered and they were after us. We were so close, it seemed like we were going to make it, until I heard his scream of agony. I turned back and he was injured. I wanted to help him, but he told me to keep going or I would die too.

He told me to go ahead. Kuronue, he had…he had sacrificed his life to see me live on. And I listened to him. Though his face pleaded for my survival I still feel like I abandoned him. I feel like I could have saved him. The wounds never really healed.

"Yoko. Don't space out on me."

He looks so serious right now. I can't tell what he's thinking. Hiei may have the power of telepathy, but I surely do not.

Temporarily I will separate myself from Hiei. It's the only way to resist my current urge to kiss him. I hate doing things like that in public. It makes me feel like everyone's watching, so it can get embarrassing. I believe Hiei's the same way.

As I walk to one end I take the time to admire all the plants I see. Manipulating my spirit energy using plants makes me build a certain connection with them.

Now, they're turning on the sprinklers. That's just fine with me. Even though, it reminds me of when I first met her.

It was raining that day. I had been traveling for days without food or water. I was nearly beaten to a pulp before being able to destroy an army of demons and their master. The cold rains were, as it seemed, going to be my executioner.

My body temperature began to rise and the blood was still dripping from my wounds. My vision was becoming blurry. That's when I recognized the dark blue umbrella in contrast with the gray sky. There was a girl there, but I only caught a slight glimpse of her worried face before I blacked out.

I remember waking up and hearing someone hum. That's when I decided to open my eyes. The first thing I saw was a ceiling. I sat up and realized how much pain I was in. I was covered in bandages.

"Are you feeling okay? I don't want you to strain yourself," a sweet voice spoke to me from the doorway. I turned to look. I slightly recognized her as the girl I saw in the rain. She was holding a tray that had a little bowl of soup on it.

"Who are you and why did you help me?"

She smiled, revealing the ivory white fangs that stood out against her dark skin. She was a demon. Her hair was black with red streaks, but with the invention of hair dye that wasn't too unusual. Her violet eyes were so soft you could've swore she was a human.

"My name is Sayomi Hatsutori. My reasons are of no importance."

Sayomi, the name sounded so good, especially with the sound of her soothing and seductive voice. I noticed a certain grace about her while she walked over and set the tray on the table next to me.

"You know nothing about me. You don't even know my name."

"That is where you're wrong, Mr. Yoko Kurama. You were probably out trying to save the world, resulting in your near death," I saw the playful smirk form at the corners of her mouth, "I know more than you think."

"You've obviously done your homework. So, Ms. Hatsutori, who are you?"

"Actually, the question you really want to ask is what am I."

I sat there in silence. She was good, but who was she?

"Are you a demon?"

She sat down in a chair that was in the room. The same chair Hiei was sitting in. She smiled again.

"Honestly, you're only half right."

"A hanyou? How were you able to mask your power so well?"

"Great people can do extraordinary things."

She stood up to leave the room. Before leaving she looked at me with kind eyes. She was so mysterious, yet it was hard to tell.

I laughed. "You confuse me."

"Then, don't think anymore. Lay down and eat."

Once she left she began humming like she was before. Her voice was so relaxing and beautiful, like an angel's.

I've just realized where I am. My walk down memory lane caused me to space out. I think Hiei tried to take advantage of that. I can sense him behind me.

"Hiei."

"Hm?" He was defiantly surprised.

"Do you wanna go now?"

"Sure."

After leaving the botanical gardens we ended up at a cliff. There's really not much to do in this town. So, of course we end up here.

Hiei looks troubled, like he has something heavy on his mind. It could be a painful memory. I want to know what he's thinking about.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

A song started to play in the background. It made me think of her again, a mixture of happiness and sadness. A mystery of what the next note would be because there is no distinct pattern at all. Ironic, I swear this was the song Sayomi would hum.

She would sit in that garden that would soon be inherited to me and hum that song. That garden was her life. She put all her love in those plants.

Some days I would help her in the garden. I remember every discussion we would have. One day she began to say unusual things while we were in the garden.

"I think…when I die, if I die, I would like to be cremated. I think my ashes would be more useful than my rotting corpse. Either way I could be used as fertilizer."

"Why would you want to do that? And, what brought that up?"

"Why not? If I'm gone my body is obviously no use to me."

"You're strange. Why are you deciding to tell me this?"

"Because…" she stretched up to my ear to whisper in it, "you always take care of me."

"Of course."

She kissed my cheek like an innocent little girl. Afterwards I grabbed her wrists and pulled her close to me. She smiled when I looked into her eyes. Before long my lips were pressed against her soft, think lips. I wanted time to freeze at that point while we were so close to each other.

I sat there and paused. Now that I think about it, could she have been trying to send me a message?

As I come back to reality I look over at Hiei. The wind was blowing through his hair, making him seem like an icon of tranquility, but I can see the pain hidden his eyes. It breaks my heart to see him so sad.

I walk over to him and kneel behind him. Then I wrap my arms around his small body. He seems to be sinking into my embrace.

"Yoko, let's go home."

I nodded and got up. Then I realized, he said "home". Does he really feel at home? This place, here with me, is that really his home? Our home?

When we got to the house I checked the messages. There were two messages. One from Takiyo and one from Jakotsu, I expected no different.

I walk out to the garden. Hiei's probably in there. He's always in the garden. Just like her, always in that garden that was given to me not too long ago. My gift before she left this world. I remember that day so clearly.

We were walking, just because it was a beautiful day. Then this maniac attacked me out of no where. He was going on about how I stole a family heirloom and killed much of his family some hundred years ago.

I wasn't paying attention to him until he pulled out a gun. That is when I panicked. I could see the anger and vengefulness in his eyes.

He shot the gun. I thought I was a goner, especially when I heard the bullets hit flesh. Blood sprayed on my face, but it wasn't mine.

"Sayomi!" I screamed when I saw her body falling to the ground. I caught her before her corpse hit the concrete.

She gave me a weak smile and touched my cheek. She then closed her eyes. I could hear her breathing slowing and becoming fainter.

"Someone call an ambulance!"

Next thing I remember I was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. I had seen the doctor coming towards me.

"Are you Yoko Kurama?"

"Yes."

"I have some bad news. Sayomi Hatsutori died a half an hour ago."

I looked down at the ground. I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

"What about…?"

"I'm afraid I have more bad news. We weren't able to save your son either."

I couldn't help it after that. The tears ran down my face as I punched a whole in the wall in a twist of despair and rage. Then their murderer was brave enough to approach me.

"Look, I'm sorry."

I attacked him by slamming him against the wall by his neck. I could tell he couldn't breath.

"The love of my life and my son are dead! I think this goes beyond simple apologies!"

"You're right. I deserve to die, so just kill me."

I could tell that I wasn't being deceived. I really wanted to, but for some reason I could not. It was because of her influence in my heart.

"No. If there in anything that Sayomi taught me it's that killing is not the answer."

I let him go. He looked surprised, as if I had revealed that I was someone else. I walked out the room with my head down.

It didn't happen too long ago and the mere thought of that memory makes my heart throb in pain.

In the garden I saw Hiei sitting on a bench. I lay down on that bench with my head on his lap. In this position I can see the tomato plant perfectly.

I started to fall asleep as Hiei combed through my hair with his pale, warm hands. I took and kissed his hand. Then I pulled him closer to me to satisfy my longing for his lips. While my lips were in connection with his I wished time could stop. I knew better, but it was my dream to be with Hiei forever. It was my dream.

* * *

Heh heh. Sorry it took soooo long to update this. I was caught up in band stuff and just never had the time. Then the season ended and I would've finished and did finish, but I had other priorities. Notice my sudden jump in number for stories authored. I have time now, so I'm updating. I also wanted to look over it to see if there was anything I wanted to change. I changed my mind because I'm lazy. Well, review if you have any comments, suggestions, or flames. If you don't review I'll USE MY BLACK MAGIC TO CURSE YOU TO AN ETERNITY OF SUFFERING. Lol review!

Oh and thank you KoorimeKitsune (I think that is your name) for pointing out the spelling errors in my author note. . I had also realized a confusing element in my story, I hope I fixed it. O.O


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, not any bit of it. What I do own is Sakura, her story and family, and Hanaki. I also own this fic. My lovely piece of artwork that I came up with all by myself. That is it.

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS LEMON. IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH GUY ON GUY SEX ACTION YOU MAY WANT TO SKIP THE MARKED SECTION. OTHER THAN THAT ENJOY!**

**Chapter Five: To Live, To Fear**

_So cold_

_So lonely_

_I never want to feel again_

_Every time I let them come close I'm rushed_

_If I open up, my heart in ripped out_

_The bruises and the footprints are still there after all this time._

_I must freeze my heart to keep the tears from running down my cheek.

* * *

_

**LEMON STARTS HERE! BEWARE!**

--On top of a cliff sat two beings hidden by darkness. A think mist covered the area concealing them even more. One shadow was of a small frame entirely, while the other figure was tall, but thin. The petit one was Hiei, who, even now, has a warm body but a cold heart. The other was the humble, red-headed beauty known as Suuichi.

Suuichi wrapped his arms around Hiei's small body. They had just finished training and their shirts were lost in the fog. Suuichi kissed Hiei's temple then whispered something softly in his ear.

"I want to be with you forever," were the words he breathed. Suuichi used his lips to connect with Hiei's. Hiei gasped when soft lips met his own. He soon got over his shock and deepened the kiss by forcing his tongue into Suuichi's mouth.

The sound of the ocean waves and Suuichi's soft moans inspired Hiei. He pulled away, breaking the connection between them. This action resulted in Suuichi's pleading eyes.

"If that is true, then become a part of me," Hiei whispered to Suuichi.

"I'll do anything you ask," Suuichi spoke softer.

Hiei lowered his pitch to match Suuichi's. "Just relax."

Hiei smirked when he saw Suuichi's blush. Then Suuichi was bombarded with sweet kisses. They started at his lips, then Hiei started to work his way down Suuichi's neck. When he reached Suuichi's chest he began to lick down Suuichi's body, using the waist line as a halt line. The sensation caused Suuichi to arch his back in pleasure. Hiei was enjoying Suuichi's pleads, begging him to continue.

Hiei proceeded to strip Suuichi out of his clothes, exposing his body to the warm moist air. He started at the waistline once again. This time he licked down Suuichi's leg. Then, as to tease, he caressed Suuichi's inner thigh with his tongue.

"Oh god, Hiei," Suuichi moaned with a longing in his eyes. He wanted Hiei to finally take him.

Hiei did just that, taking Suuichi's tip into his mouth, sucking lightly. Suuichi moans accumulated. He clutched the ground, pulling up a little dirt, as Hiei went further down his member.

He continued to intensify his action, making Suuichi practically scream. Finally, Suuichi released into Hiei's mouth. With pleasure, Hiei drank the sweet liquid and let go of Suuichi. Hiei crawled over next to his beautiful red-headed fox, holding him tightly. The mist seemed to clear as the two fell asleep under the stars.--

**LEMON ENDS HERE! SAFETY IS ASSURED!**

I woke up drenched in sweat. My body was remembering the heat it felt at that moment, a moment that I had forgotten about until now. The funny thing is, everything I was feeling then felt so real, feelings that I had never felt before. I guess that is how I was able to mistake reality in those artificial feelings.

I looked over at the sleeping Yoko, which breathed heavily once and then returned to his rhythmic relaxing inhalation. He seemed so tranquil, and his long, silver hair shined in the moonlight against his semi-pale skin. It amazes me how lucky am to always get to gaze upon such beauty. There has always been such beauty in my life.

I push his silky hair out of his face while gently brushing against his cheek with my hand. Now I'm able to see his face clearer. He sighs again, his chest enlarging as he inhales. As I notice that I also stare at his lips, pale like the rest of his complexion. That's when I suddenly get an urge to kiss the soft lips that I've grown to adore, like delicate flowers petals that were only meant for me to feel and cherish.

Of course I don't want to wake him. Another choice that I am forced to make, for life in itself is all about the choices people make. You can't avoid them, and no one can make the choices for you. Then there is also the fact that you have to choose how you will make your choice. Will you listen to your intuition or your reason? And it's the end result that will let you know if you were smart or not. But, sometimes you can compromise. I gently kissed Yoko's forehead instead.

After my mental lecture I walk to the bathroom. I want to wash my face. I understand myself exactly why. It's not like I will be washing away all the memories that cause me to grab my heart in pain. If only that was possible then I wouldn't be afraid. I wouldn't be stripped of my capability to be blind, blindly trusting, blindly loving, and blind of all pain.

When I walk back into the room wide awake and with a clean face I see that Yoko's position hasn't changed. I decide to sit in the chair that sits across from the bed. I feared that I would wake him if I crawled back into bed. I watch the sun begin to rise against Yoko's slim figure. The beauty entranced me and led me deep into my thoughts of so many things. It was some kind of magic.

Through my serge of random thoughts cherry blossoms kept showing up in my mind. It was because of this I realized that the cherry blossoms will bloom today. It was now that my mind settled on this one thought. I would like to see them today; I want to see them bloom. The image of the small pink petals reminded me of her, of Sakura Akiyama. Her beauty was always intensified when the cherry blossoms were in bloom. It didn't take me long to realize this fact.

I saw her amongst them. She was surrounded by them. There was silence, besides the sound of the rushing water from the river going through the trees and the crashing sound of water from the waterfall that originated from the river on top of the cliff. This is where she was. She stood timidly next to the river. She dipped her fingers in the clear and glistening water. I quietly walked up behind, trying to sustain the peace of her sacred escape.

"What are you doing?"

She jumped startled, a little bit of water splashing up as she quickly withdrew her fingers. I didn't intend on scaring at all, it was little mistake I made.

"Oh, Hiei. It's just you." She breathed and relaxed as she turned to the water again.

"Why are you out here?"

"The madam is angry again. Sukino has fallen ill." The madam, a woman I despise and Sakura's mother. She was an evil detestable woman in my opinion.

"Ill? Didn't she just recover?"

"She wanted to go swimming even though I told her it was unwise. My younger sister is weaker than I."

That's when she finally looked at me. It was her cats yellow eyes that caught my attention. They were full of three things; worry, sorrow, and beauty. And they were so intensely present. The worry made me want to give my life to assure her that everything would be alright. The sorrow made me want to shed the tears that she couldn't. And the beauty made me believe in a truly pure soul that is capable in all of us. Her green hair shined in the sunlight and accented her skin that was so pale that it seemed like she was made from fragile porcelain. My heart ached as I explored her features, uncovering so many secrets that were similar to my own.

I returned to reality when I realized that she was waiting for me to respond. I really didn't know what to say at the moment. I searched for something to say.

"You know I've never met a dark sorceress that talked so elegantly."

"For me, it is required. Besides," she paused and smirked at me, "I've never met a demon that was so adorable." Even as she said that her eyes were still sad.

And for the time my cheeks were overcome by warmth and I felt a little embarrassed. And in my shame I looked down at the ground.

She looked surprised and then giggled. "Aw, how cute?"

The embarrassment became too much. It was too awkward for me to stay so jumped into one of the nearby cherry trees. Also, there was somewhere I had to be. I looked back one last time before leaving. It was amazing how her beauty increased when the cherry blossoms were in bloom.

Yoko just woke up suddenly. He's breathing hard and has a bewildered look about him, but his eyes were full of terror, as if he saw a ghost. His disorientation made me worried and curious at the same time.

"Are you all right?" He was startled. I made the same mistake once again.

"I'm fine. Why are you awake?"

He noticed. I should've expected as much. He notices everything odd about me.

"I couldn't sleep."

He gives me a semi-heart broken look before he looked down. I should have told him the dream I had. Maybe, he would tell me his. The only thing keeping me from telling him is fear. It's my fear of another walking out on me, another betraying my trust, another crushing my heart. I wish I could tell him how I feel, but I'm afraid it would all be for nothing.

"What do you want to do?" (Sooooo hungry…aaaagh.)

What do I want to do? I hadn't thought about it, but obviously he cares. No one has ever cared about what I wanted before. So, what do I want? We could see the cherry blossoms today. Hopefully he won't care. Wow, I just contradicted myself.

"They bloom today. Let's go see them." Wow, I'm vague.

"Sure." He smiled at me as to forgive me for being broad. My cheeks become heated and I can tell that I am blushing. This sucks because I know he is enjoying this. He knows me to well; he knew this was going to happen.

We arrive at the botanical gardens. We come here often. This is a place Yoko showed me to when I first arrived. It was winter and there was snow on the ground and he told me it was his spring to get away from the cold winter of the world. It was a metaphor he used that took me awhile to understand until I became attached to this place.

Now, I have realized that everyone I ever loved, except for my sister whom I've always loved, had some connection to plants. I could even be more specific and say flowers. I've gone from cherry blossoms to roses to a combination of different kinds of flowers. (I wonder what plant Yoko's death tree is manipulated from? Could it be a Venus fly trap? Hmm…) It could be some kind of sign.

I look at Yoko lost in his thoughts. He always seems to be so broody. There's something I hate about it. Maybe it's the fact that he's not paying attention to me. Or maybe it's that look that he always has. But, it's what makes him, him, and I don't want him to change; he should remain constant in my life.

"Yoko. Don't space out on me."

He looks at me blankly first. Then he gets this mixed expression of analytical along with sympathetic. I have the ability to read his mind, but it would be disrespectful and sneaky to do so. The thoughts of someone are more sacred than a diary that you would copy them down into. It's how you see the world and how you respond to everything. Reading someone's mind would be like drinking the blood of another in a cup that doesn't belong to you. But, sometimes I do wonder what it would taste like to drink his blood from the cup of his soul.

Now I watch him as he decides to walk away from me. He does it so casually, without saying a single word. Sometimes, words aren't needed, as in this case. His actions are telling me to leave him in his solitude. That's just fine with me. I'll accompany myself with random thoughts that stain my mind.

A cherry blossom falls on my nose. Its softness tickles it, like the way fathers are tickled by the giggles of their favorite dolls, with innocent naïve auras surrounding them. But, not all dolls get to be the epitome of all that is pure. Not all of them get to giggle with blind ignorance, as daddy promises his little princess all the love in the world. Not all the little dolls in the world get to be princesses. Sakura wasn't one. The sound of the soft sobs of a Cinderella taken hostage by a demon, and never found her prince Charming echo in my head.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Sukino. The illness killed my little sister, and the madam blames me for the death of my best and only friend."

Though, I remained calm and emotionless as always I felt two pains. I felt her mortification of the loss of her sister and the torture inflicted as consequence. Then I also felt the cut of her words, as it seemed that I was not as important to her. That's when the most psychotic of women walked in, her mother.

"There's the little whore that killed her sister!" The madam walked towards Sakura and slapped her with pure wrath in her eyes.

"What are you doing! That's your daughter!" I yelled with anger swelling up inside me, seeping out through everything that was me. She looked back at me with a conceited and deranged gleam in her eye.

"Mind your own business, demon! She's no daughter of mine. Just a useless tramp and a pain in my ass!" She kicked Sakura in the ribs before leaving her in the darkness, where her tears of pain were the only things that possessed warm. I couldn't even warm her body to soothe the wounds.

"Hiei, I can't live here anymore. Without my sister there is no one to protect me." And the truth hurts. I didn't want her to leave me behind, but as much as I wanted to, I could not protect her. That was the truth that stung the most. I couldn't protect her.

But overall, I understood. The suffering is so great for those children who are born "forbidden" or "forgotten" or "unwanted". So, I was not surprised when the next day came and her disappearance was apparent. It's so much easier to run away before you are abandoned, and she knew it. This way there was no way to find her, and no one could. It was only a short period of time before they gave up on searching for a child who was not wanted anyways, a child who was not loved. But, I loved her. I had only realized that when the hurt of her absence caused me to eternally look for her. For, my love hurts more when I can't see her than when I gaze upon her amongst an orchard of cherry trees.

The sprinklers shook me from my thoughts. I should look for Yoko before it starts to get too wet. That bastard could be anywhere, as big as this place is. I shouldn't have let him get too far away from me. Well, standing here fuming is not going to bring him to me.

I start walking in the direction I saw him leave in. A few minutes after I started walking that way I saw a patch of Queen Roses. I stopped to stare at them and red hair blazed in my mind, red hair that belonged to the gorgeous and gentle Suuichi. Yes, gentle; everything about him was gentle. And it just wasn't his smile, and his personality, or the way he approached people or situations. Even the way he touched me was gentle; the way he loved was gentle. Just like the feel of a rose petal on your skin. Even his butterfly kisses felt like I was kissing the softness of rose petals.

But now, I hate him for what he did to me. No—that's a lie. I hate myself for not being able to give him what he needed, what he wanted. I still love him, but he does not love me anymore, and I understand why. I do not deserve to be loved, especially not by him. I hate him? No, I hate me. I hate Hiei.

I begin searching again and, of course, I found him. He's deep in his thoughts again; disconnected from this world, I can tell. This means his guard is down. Silly Yoko, don't you know that you should never put your guard down? Someone, like me, could sneak attack. Lucky for you it's only a test of you reflexes. Lucky for you I'm just looking for a little fun. Get ready Yoko.

"Hiei," his sturdy voice called.

"Hm?" Damn, he sensed me.

"Do you wanna go now?"

"Sure."

It makes no sense that we left. There is nothing to do in this town. So, for a while we were walking around aimlessly. I looked at the people walking around. There was so many different couple in different kinds of pairings. There were demons with zombies, zombies with vampires, vampires with sorcerers, and even humans with these different species as well. This is how it was in Harmony.

After walking around we ended up at a cliff. This cliff looked so familiar. It looked identical to the cliff where I shared that moment with the deceivably soft eyed him. The cliff was high with a crashing ocean at the bottom. Everywhere was a sea of green of the recently reborn grass. And in the middle of the landscape was one big wisteria tree, shading the surrounding area. Exactly like the cliff from my dream

I could feel deep within me the sadness, the embarrassment of my stupidity. And I could feel the longing I used to have and the selfishness I once possessed. Possessed, yes I was possessed. I was possessed by everything that was him, and I still am. His presence in my mind was making my heart throb in pain every beat, every thump of my heart.

Yoko looked at me weird and worried. I must've shown my current pain in some form. Yoko looked at me, straight into my eyes. They must have been telling him more than I would ever say or admit to. But, I wish he hadn't seen me this way.

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine." But my reassurance was probably not all that convincing.

A song began to play in the background, but I paid no mind. I only listened to the sound of the waves crashing up against the cliff. Just like in that moment, how Suuichi's moans had synchronized with the sound of the crashing waves. And I heard how his heavy breaths harmonized with the sound of the blowing wind. Soon, these sounds of pleasure turned into the echoes of rejection in my head. I'll never forget my denial.

It had been a while since I had seen him, for he stopped visiting me. After his long absence I decided to look for him out of worry. I was afraid that something might have happened to him. One day I found him in the park with some girl with chocolate brown hair and smoky gray eyes. Her skin was pink, but her cheeks were rosy. Seeing him with this girl made me curious, so I approached them.

"Hello."

"Hiei! Hanaki, can I have a little time?"

"Sure," she responded cheerfully and walked away. I guessed her name was Hanaki. Some name; it sounded as disgusting as she looked.

"Who's that?" I sneered, letting all my envy show through my tone.

"That's my…um…my girlfriend," he answered nervously.

"What?" I was shocked at hurt. Then I hoped I heard him wrong.

"I didn't know how to tell you, but I can't be with you anymore." Instead of looking at me he looked at the ground.

"Why not?" I wanted to know what I did. I wanted to know damn it!

"You see, you're still uncertain about how you feel and that makes me question your commitment." My commitment? He was the one who betrayed me!

"I don't understand." My confusion was apparent.

"Hiei, I need something that is now. I can't keep waiting for you."

"I see." Now, I was just hurt. I looked at the ground as well to hide the pain in my eyes.

Suuichi finally looked up. "Well, I guess this is farewell."

I didn't look up, and I no longer cared. "Yeah…"

"I'm sorry." He tried to touch my shoulder.

I pulled away. "Don't be." And I could tell he wasn't. He didn't care. I was nothing to him.

That was the last time I saw him. Hanaki, that name will always make me swell up with anger. Her name meant flower (kinda…), but did she have to take away the rose that I loved so much? But, it wasn't really her fault. I was stupid for not being able to hold on to what I cherished. He was like a prized possession, that I let get stolen. Now, out of love I just hope that he is happy. I hope that now he is a prized possession with an adequate owner.

Just then I felt Yoko wrap his arms around me. I felt treasured when protective arms were wrapped around my body. With him so close to me I felt sacred in a way. And all these feelings encouraged me to drift into his warm embrace.

"Yoko, let's go home."

He nodded and released me from his hold. After he got up he paused. It was a bit unusual the way he was looking at me. He stared at me like he was trying to get the answer to some hopeful question of his that would make his greatest dream come true. And I wanted to know what his question was. For some reason his happiness meant the world to me, so what is it that he wanted me to do?

We walked home, standing close to each other the whole way, and in total silence. Once we had arrived I headed straight for the garden. The garden is where I spend most of my time. I sit on the same bench I always sit on. Right in the middle of the garden right across from the tomatoes. I could tell Yoko sat here a lot too. His scent lingers in this area of the garden. His scent, it contains the beautiful smell of flowers and the metallic smell of blood. We've both have had pasts like that.

Later on Yoko walked out to join me. His face was blank as he sighed. He placed his head on my lap when he laid down. His long silver hair shined in the sunlight like the armor of a warrior who is about to die in battle, but in this case there was an element of beauty within this shimmer.

I couldn't help but to comb my fingers through those gleaming silver strands. I could hear the rhythm of his breathing beginning to slow. He was getting comfortable and relaxing on my lap. He shifted and his soft, strong hand grabbed my small, pale, cold one. Then I felt his soft lips gently, like the wings of a butterfly, kiss my hand. Then I was blank as he pulled me closer to him. His lips met mine and my cold body begged for more of the fire he was emitting, and I returned the kiss as his passion warmed my soul. This feeling he gave me, like déjà vu, it was all so familiar.

--Eh, too lazy to say anything of interest. Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, and Joyeux Noel. See you next year. And review or Santa'll leave a big lump of coal in your stocking. REVIEW!


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Do I really have to keep saying this? I don't own it guys.

Warnings: More Takiyo, Jakotsu beefs. Content very very suggestive. There is also a lot more cussing than I remember.

**Chapter Six: Tragic Rain**

_Every time I see you, _

_Your beauty seems to grow._

_I long to touch your face,_

_So I can admire your features more closely._

_But, such a privilege I am denied._

_My heart races every time you say my name._

_When I hear yours something comes over me._

_Can it be that…?_

_I'm sure I know what it is now.

* * *

_

Okima sat at his desk with an apathetic look as he watched the emails rush in at one time. This job was boring, but he couldn't get to the fun part of the job until he was familiar with the place. He didn't know where anything was. It would be ridiculous if they sent him out on a job and he got lost. It would be a waste of time. But, in order to find out where everything is he would need a guide.

The first image that popped into his head was Yoko's attempted humble look, considering he only knew about two people. But, he thought it was adorable when he tried to distort his face into an expression he wasn't born to show. He wanted to look harmless, but nature intended for him to be feared. Despite what nature wanted, Yoko seemed like he wanted to good. And more importantly he seemed familiar with the area. He had to know the place well to have the position he had. As a perfect candidate Okima would ask Yoko for this favor, once he saw him.

As if on cue, Yoko came walking by, but his steps seemed mechanical and forced, like they didn't want to move, but they had no choice. Yoko's head was down and he seemed sad in the way he just rushed by. Yoko was so nice to Okima, so an attempt at cheering him up seemed necessary. Okima decided he would pursue this mission while also asking him the favor he had in mind.

"Mr. Kurama!"

Yoko turned around in the direction he heard his name called. He saw Okima rushing over to him like he was determined to get something from Yoko. Yoko gave Okima a forced smile. He wanted to be nice, but obviously he wasn't in the best of moods.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, first I wanted to see if you were okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Well, then can I borrow your car tonight? I got a sexy date, but no ride."

Yoko laughed at the cute and slightly humorous joke. Okima laughed with him.

"I don't have a car." Yoko finally responded. He seemed to be a bit more chipper when he answered.

"Well, actually, there was something I seriously wanted to ask of you."

"What is it?"

"Well…uh…" Okima's mind went blank. No words came out and he couldn't remember why he was standing there, or how he got there. All he knew at that moment was how sexy Yoko's golden hazel eyes were as they stared into his soul. His heart pounded and his throat tightened, and he couldn't figure out why he was having the thoughts he was or why his self was acting like this.

Yoko gave Okima a curious look. "Well, I have to go now. Come see me at lunch." He patted Okima on the head and then walked away.

Okima stood there for awhile, feeling like he was going to pass out until he was certain Yoko was not in the area anymore. He couldn't understand what just happened. It was so random and purposeless. And those things he was thinking had to be someone else's thought being imported to him telepathically. He walked back to his desk completely confused.

As he expected, the emails were still rushing in. He sat down and selected a great portion of the emails. After that he selected "delete" and they were all transferred to the trash folder. Then he selected the rest and forwarded them to the higher ups. His job was so easy and boring, so he contemplated matters revolving around Yoko.

Obviously, he would have to prepare himself, since he might have another incident where his mind will turn stupid again. So, what would he say? How about 'Mr. Kurama, I was wondering if you could show me some things in the area.' That was the logical thing to say, but no, he couldn't even say that. Why not 'Mr. Kurama, would you be nice enough to show this idiot around, since his mind is apparently made out of water, as well!' He was so mad and disappointed with himself.

After a while the aimless"postal inventory", because if he was going to have a job it was going to sound professional and intelligent, he cooled down. His mindless boredom made him forget about his earlier brain malfunction. Actually he had almost forgotten completely about Yoko, until he realized it was time for him to go on his lunch break.

He took an elevator up to the level in which Yoko worked with the other employees of the same rank, or close to it. All he had to do was search for the office with Yoko's name on the door. Alas, he had found it, with a desk outside of it and a woman getting ready to leave. Okima walked up to her while she was still behind her desk. She looked at Okima sternly with her ice cold stare, and Okima felt a chill of fear. With that stare she seemed intimidating, and made Okima want to grab a teddy bear.

"I-I would like to see Mr. Kurama."

"You must be Sakai. He's in there." With that she walked away.

He wanted to show his gratitude, but she walked away too fast. He shrugged it off and walked over to the door. Then he hesitated before opening it. Did he remember what he was going to say? He took a deep breath and got his head together so his brain wouldn't liquefy again. He walked in quietly, confident he wasn't going to mess up again.

"Sit down," Yoko invited. Okima jumped in surprise, not expecting to hear his voice so suddenly, his soothing voice…

"H-hello," Okima stuttered nervously, seeming awkward.

Yoko looked up now, silver strands covering some of his stoic expression. "Hello. What did you want to ask me?"

"Well…uh…you see…" 'Damn it! I'm doing it again!' Okima thought enraged. 'What is it about him that makes me fall apart!'

Yoko raised an eyebrow. "There's no need to be nervous. Or are you bashful?" Yoko tried to reassure Okima, which only helped a little.

But, that wasn't it! Okima wasn't the shy type! It was something special about Yoko that made Okima fall apart. Something that made his brain shut down and it only thinks of him. And that something was in his speech. The sound of his voice and the way those words were formed with perfect pale lips. But, why? Why was he having these thoughts?

"I was wondering…"

And of course, just as Okima built up the composure to say something coherent Jakotsu rushed into the scene. Euphoria was being shown through this being in every way it could. He noticed Okima before taking a seat absent-mindedly next to him. He stared at Okima, intrigued.

"Why so happy?" Yoko stated rather than asked, bored. There was a routine indicated.

"First, who is this?" Jakotsu grabbed Okima's hand in greeting.

"My name is Okima Sakai. I'm a new employee here."

"Hello, I'm Jakotsu," then Jakotsu grabbed Okima's chin and made their noses touch, "look, it's been a pleasure meeting you, but I would like to get to know you better."

This caused Okima to blush uncontrollably. 'Oh my god…' was all his mind was able to interpret of this situation. Yoko just sighed before halting his friend's torment of the younger employee.

"Jakotsu, what are you doing?"

Jakotsu sat back in his chair innocently and responded "He's such a beauty," instead of actually answering the question.

"At least he's not gayer than Christmas," they heard Takiyo's voice from the door of the office.

"Oh Takiyo. I swear they must've given you parts from a dog demon. You're such a bitch." (To be explained in later on in the story.)

"At least my PMSin' is something natural. You, on the other hand, I'm more masculine than you could ever dream to be."

"That explains why you can't get a boyfriend. No man wants a she-man."

"Why do you say that? Is it because I'm not a whore like you?"

Okima felt really uncomfortable. He wanted to escape this verbal battlefield, but he didn't know how. He was trapped in the audience, waiting to see who would win.

"Stop this now!" Yoko howled frustrated and with undoubted authority.

"I came by to drop this off," Takiyo said with sudden profession and set down a bulging manila folder on Yoko's desk. "I'm going to lunch now."

Jakotsu glared at Takiyo with vengeful eyes as she walked out carelessly. Once she was completely out of the office Yoko turned his firm gaze towards Jakotsu. He relaxed, inhaling deeply before breathing out with a huge sigh.

"Now Jakotsu, tell me what you wanted."

"Well, about 30 minutes ago Bankotsu and I got into an argument over the phone."

"And I'm guessing you're planning on making up with him tonight."

"Of course!"

"Of course you would look at it at that angle, horny bastard." Yoko teased with a smile.

Okima didn't understand and frankly was shutting out this conversation. Whatever they were discussing, he didn't want to hear it, so instead he thought about dinner tonight.

"What other way do I need to look at life in order to have fun?"

"Aren't you dead, technically?"

"So?"

"So, I'm meeting with Sakai. Leave us be."

Okima responded to the sound of his name being said casually. He suddenly remembered where he was.

"Fine then," Jakotsu pouted playfully before leaving Yoko's office obediently. Yoko rested his forehead on his hand, with his elbow on his desk, and then he chuckled to himself.

"With a staff like this I don't know why she expects me to ever get things done. So, what did you want to ask me? I don't think we'll be interrupted this time."

He blushed slightly as his heart began to race. "I was wondering…if you could… show me around…sometime."

Yoko raised his eyebrow in a questioning look and then smiled humbly. "Sure. I'll show you around tomorrow at lunch."

Okima stood with a grateful expression. "Aren't you going to lunch?"

"I don't eat much."

"Oh." Okima turned slowly and then walked out of Yoko's office.

He felt a bit anxious, excited about the next day. When tomorrow came he would spend a whole hour exploring the small town. But, what was so exciting about this miniature secluded town? Was it the town that really made him anxious? Seriously, there was nothing exciting about his new habitat.

That night Okima tossed and turned in his bed. Sleep apparently was no longer an option. His unexplained excited was keeping him up, and so was his confusion. He felt it was unusual to be so excited about site seeing. It wasn't something that excited him before. And to top it all off a familiar face kept showing up is his mind, metallic silver hair and glowing golden eyes were stained in his head. He kept attempting to erase the image of his superior from his mind, but it was beyond his control.

There was a creak and Okima looked over at the humble, white door when he heard it. A face peeked into the room innocently. The face was pale and scared, with wet, messy blue hair from sweat, plastered to it. Big, brown eyes peered in with childish fear.

"What is it?" Okima turned in the bed to look at the tiny figure, while asking drowsily.

"I had a bad dream," a little boy's voice spoke to him in response.

Okima sighed and slid over, "Come here Rintaro."

The tiny little boy jumped up happily to turn on the lights. Once succeeded Okima squinted his eyes. You could see that the little boy was around eight-years-old in image with harmless little fangs that couldn't even bite wood. He walked over to Okima's bed and climbed in next to him, with a little bit of struggle.

"Oki-nii, can I have a glass of water?"

"Sure," he answered with eyes that were only half open.

"Thank you!"

Okima got up out of the bed. He walked down the stairs before being able to reach the kitchen. He opened one of the cabinets and retrieved a glass. After doing that he noticed the moon, as its midnight light shown through his window. With him being a water demon he was just like the tides in the sense that, he too, was controlled by the moon.

That night it was a third quarter moon. This phase always made him feel confused and restless. Things made sense to Okima now that he saw the moon in this phase. Soon, it would be a full moon and his mind would clear up and his emotional state would calm down.

When he returned little Rintaro had fallen asleep. Okima chuckled to himself at the adorableness of the little one. While standing there in the doorway he turned out the lights. Walking over to his bed he put the glass down on the night stand that was next to it. He laid down and fell asleep with Rintaro in a protective embrace.

The next day Okima went to Yoko's office at lunch. Before that he felt tired because of his sudden insomnia the night before. (HEY! Insomnia…hahaha.) But, as soon as he reached the door of Yoko's office the excitement was there again. Takiyo had already left for her lunch break and Yoko stood up behind his desk ready to go.

"Hey."

"Hello." Okima really couldn't understand why he was so delighted to be near Yoko and hear him speak to him. He cheeks warmed in an unexpected blush. Yoko didn't notice, but instead concentrated on the door. This baffled Okima.

"Hold on a second. I know he's coming."

Okima was even more puzzled as he raised an eyebrow in question. "He," who's "he"? Okima thought.

Soon his question was answered as the raven-haired Jakotsu gracefully glided into the office at a fast pace. His upbeat nature didn't change, but he looked curious. Oh, that guy, Okima pondered.

"Yoko, where are you going?" Jakotsu questioned while almost seeming genuinely sad.

"I've got a lunch date," Yoko replied casually.

"Oh poo Yoko, you always attract the guys. I'm going to find out what makes you so popular."

"You could, but then you'd have to betray Bankotsu."

Okima understood what Yoko was implying, and it gave him an odd curiosity. He felt awkward wanting to know if that was actually it, but more than likely he was playing, especially considering he laughed after the comment. Jakotsu laughed with him.

"Is that what it is? Very well then, I'll see you two pretty boys later."

"Don't call me a pretty boy," Yoko stated with a tad of annoyance hinted in his voice.

"What are you going to do?" Jakotsu teased, sounding like he was invincible.

"I'll put you back in your grave and return you to hell."

"Fine then you sexy fox." Jakotsu fled after that comment, obviously fearing his life.

Yoko sighed before softly laughing to himself at his eccentric friend. Okima shifted uncomfortably at the discomfiture of the sudden silence in the office.

"You ready to go?" Yoko broke the silence with his question.

"Yeah…" Okima answered quietly with his head down so he didn't notice Yoko's look of concern.

At that moment they left for their adventure. Okima's confidence returned, but he still found himself blushing from time to time. His feeling of happiness equaled his feeling of nervousness. Soon, the sound of the platinum haired kitsune's voice made his heart skip a beat. When pale skin touched his tanned figure he stopped breathing all together. (IT'S TOO QUIET!)

"Are you thirsty?" the tall, slim one asked randomly while coming to a stop.

"A little bit."

"Let's get something to drink," the _sun child _responded quickly, impulsively changing directions.

Okima followed bewildered, for the other was ignorant to the vagueness of his sentence. Aqua eyes were wide as the one with sea green hair was left contemplating, drink? As in get drunk? He forced the thought out of his mind, for it was creating chaos within his brain. (Ohho! Chaos!) Surely, that was not what he meant.

Soon they approached a humble little café. It was a friendly little place and the he knew the best. He had come here many times with the special jaguar hanyou Sayomi. She needed her coffee often times when she was woken up in the morning. She always came here and sometimes brought Yoko with her. Everyone still recognized him, even though it had been well before Sayomi's death since they had seen him.

After they ordered their caffeinated drinks they continued the tour. It surprised the water demon when they had given them their drinks discounted. He eventually forced that thought out as well as the slim fox demon proceeded in showing him everything he could before their lunch break ended and they had to go back to the company.

That day when Okima went home he wished he had a mask. His face was red because of his obsessive blushing. The two that lived with him noticed his odd behavior and his random giggles at his own discomfort. It was Rintaro and an older girl. The older had the appearance of a girl in her late teens, around 16. Her eyes were a blazing red that were covered and cooled by long shining opal colored hair. Her name was Mikaji, and could be beautifully sung.

The little boy ran to him and in excitement gave him a hug. The innocent Rintaro looked up when the water demon patted his head affectionately.

"Oki-nii, you are happy?" he asked inquisitively.

"Don't be naïve! Of course he is!" Mikaji retorted and rolled her eyes because of his unawareness.

"Mika…what did I tell you about your tone?" Okima became stern.

She looked down ashamed. "So sorry, Oki-nii."

Rintaro who originally had ignored Mikaji inquired, "Why are you happy?"

Okima only replied with "I had a good day," not fully understanding his joy either. He released himself from Rintaro's grasp

Everyday Yoko showed the water demon with a tortuous mind a new part of the town. With Okima's new navigator he was confident that each time he would be sent to sea he could find his way back to port. His most interesting day of internship was when Jakotsu joined them. Then again, Jakotsu was the most interesting crew member.

"So Sakai, why'd you decide to work?"

They were taking a break to eat and Okima was eating his muffin absent-mindedly while the other two were enjoying a coffee. Of course that was until abrupt question alarmed him.

"…err…what?"

"Why do you work?" he asked again.

"…uh…I need the money." Okima rejoined vaguely.

"What for? Why would a demon need money?"

"Jakotsu, we're not dead. We do need to eat and other things that need to be bought."

"You spend your money on coffee, what does he need money for?"

"…err…"

"Jakotsu, mind your own business."

He gave his signature pout, "sorry." But, of course right after Jakotsu's apology Okima began to speak.

"My family. I work to support my younger siblings."

Now it was Jakotsu who was alarmed from the unexpected answer to his prying question. Yoko spoke instead since it seemed that Jakotsu was temporarily speechless.

"Isn't that nice? Most of us here don't know what it's like to have a family."

Jakotsu's gift of speech returned. "Or at least a real family."

Yoko nodded. "Even Takiyo grew up alone."

Okima looked up interested. "Ms. Takiyo? What happened to her?"

Yoko breathed in heavily preparing for the long story. He knew he probably shouldn't be doing this, but he also knew that Okima was trustworthy.

"Well, Takiyo was basically born alone. Actually, she was born a human. It was a rainy night. Her father was trying to get to the hospital, and that's when he ran off the road, when they found the body he was dead. Her mother died in labor."

"How sad…"

"Yes it is. She was an orphan and had absolutely no living relatives that could take care of her. All the orphanages were full. So, they decided to try a little experiment…"

"They made her more demon like by giving her qualities of a demon. They changed her psychological and physical DNA. This way she could survive alone and live alone," Jakotsu finished triumphantly. Apparently the word a day calendars were working.

"Wow, who would've thought." Okima suddenly felt guilty remembering his own past.

"Thank you Jakotsu for your assistance," the fox spoke sarcastically.

"I just wanted to talk, sorry."

Then Okima thought of something. "How do you guys know that?"

"We have to know the pasts of those whom work for us. It's a security company," Yoko replied.

"But not those who work with us. We started at the same time so I don't know anything about Yoko's past."

Yoko let out a victorious laugh as a cocky smile crept over his face. "And probably never will."

Okima processing all this stared with wide eyes, aqua shining in the sun looking like little pools. Yoko noticed these aqua eyes and winked in reassurance to the demon of water. He did indeed relax.

But, everything else blew him away. He was so ignorant to it all. He supposed that there was a reason Takiyo seemed so cold. He started to think about his own past and the misfortunes he lived with. He couldn't figure out if they even compared to what Takiyo had to live through. Okima Sakai, oblivious to it all.

* * *

Yay! I finally got Chapter Six up! (Does a little dance.) Now! I'm going to explain some things! 

"postal inventory" - Okima's job is to basically filter out good mail (I guess job offers) and bad mail (non-job offers?). He called it "postal inventory" because that was the official name and he frustrated at the time. It's like when you see a job that says architectural color designer when all you're doing is painting houses, or a children's entertainer and you're a clown.

"Sakai"- Everyone calls him Sakai even though I call him Okima, there is two reasons for that. When I first started writing this a long time ago Okima didn't have a family name, until I decided to grace him with one. Also, his siblings would be Sakai as well and that would be weird.

Rintaro, Mikaji- These are his unexpected siblings. Legally they are his children, but since they're so close in age they are more like his siblings. If anyone wants to know more, ask and I'll be glad to explain.

Insomnia, chaos- My name is Chaotic Insomnia, so I got excited.

_Sun child- _Sun child is one of the many many meanings of the name Yoko.If you notice I'm waaay deep into the name meanings junk.

"Everyday Yoko...crew member"- I just loooove metaphors (and similies)

word a day calendar- I don't think Jakotsu has a very broad vocab, so I made that joke.

Yoko's wink- Okima realized that that meant Yoko knew about his past as well, since Okima works for his department. Yoko was reassuring Okima that his secret was safe with him.

Well, that's all, and I hoped you enjoyed it. It took forever, but I had fun anyways. I got to get off here now before I'm discovered and get in trouble.


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, but damn! Who the hell is coming up with these chapter names?

**Warnings:** THERE IS ANOTHER GUY ON GUY LEMON and a suggestion of it in another part. BEWARE!

**Chapter Seven: Savior**

_My past,_

_My memories;_

_Everything reminds me of the special moments we shared._

_Even though we are apart, I have not forgotten._

_I do wish I could see you again._

_So maybe you could sing to me one last time.

* * *

_

All was quiet as Hiei sat alone in the garden. He made himself comfortable in the shade of a small, male Ginkgo tree. He rested against this Ginkgo tree; eyes closed. He had a meditative appearance as warm wind blew through ebony locks. As usual, he showed no expression, but occasionally sighed, as heavy breaths merged with strong breezes.

He was desperately trying to sort out the thoughts that recently began to haunt him, and he was failing miserably. There was something he had to say; something he had to say to Yoko; but he had no idea of how he was going to say it. There were so many, too many, memories rushing to him all at once. And it all looked like a mess of photographs spread across a surface.

He was so deep in the thoughts that haunted him that it must've distracted his other senses. His surroundings were forgotten about and he didn't notice the presence in the garden that was nearing him. That's why he was startled when there was a soft voice whispered in his ear.

"Hello," it flowed teasingly into his ear, with thin lips brushing against it faintly.

"Shit…" Hiei's eyes shot open in his surprise. He grabbed his heart in startle.

Yoko quietly laughed, and Hiei glared at him. One man's joke was the other one's embarrassment, and Hiei didn't like the joke at all. And as Yoko's laughter died down Hiei relaxed.

"Welcome home," he said sarcastically, crossing his arms, and there was a small kiss on his cheek from the platinum haired kitsune youkai.

Yoko sat under the tree next to Hiei and pulled the smaller one in close to his own body. Hiei was almost on his lap practically. He leaned back, resting his head up against Yoko's warm and living corpse. They looked up at the leaves in blissful silence. The sun was welcoming that day. After thinking about it Yoko decided to break the silence with a question he had longed to ask.

"Hiei, why do you love cherry blossoms?" There was seriousness in his speech.

There was a pause of silence before the fire demon sighed. There was a mixed expression on his face as it seemed that this moment was inevitable and the wind came up again to comfort and reassure him. He looked down.

"They remind me of my first love. Her name was Sakura."

"I see."

"She loved cherry blossoms and she loved her name. She was often sad, because her mother mistreated and disowned her. It was so bad that she had to call her 'madam' just like the servants. What am I talking about? She was a servant. And if she acted in any other manner she would be punished, most of the time, brutally."

"Poor thing…"

"Yes. Growing up she didn't have any friends, except for Sukino, her younger sister. Later on she met me, but I only played a small part. Sukino was adored by their mother and was the only one who could protect Sakura. There was one thing though; Sukino was very frail and often sick. Eventually she succumbed to an illness that took her life. Sakura was alone and vulnerable again."

"So, she ran away, leaving everything behind, including you."

"Yes. But, I understand, that's why I'm still searching for her."

Yoko's heart started to throb in pain. That alone meant he loved her, and still does. And though at first there was nothing wrong with it, but she could still be alive. Yoko didn't like the thought of Hiei being in love with someone else that could possibly still have breath in them. And then he realized what he was thinking. He was jealous of Sakura, and frankly, it shocked him.

Yoko let go of his embrace. Hiei looked up at him confused, but then ignored it and turned his head to look at the ground. Yoko sat back, leaning against the tree; looking up at the beautiful leaves.

"So, after all that has happened you still want to find her?"

"You never lose your first love."

Yoko laughed at himself. A word of truth was what he needed to realize how stupid he was being. He couldn't believe the ridiculous thoughts he was just having. He was being plain retarded and his unexplainable laughter left Hiei lost.

"Ignore me. I'm being childish," Yoko assured Hiei.

Hiei looked at him weird before taking a deep breath and speaking again. "So, now that I've told, tell me about the tomato plant."

Yoko smiled a little bit. Of course there was some type of exchange that had to be done. He looked over at the little humble looking tomato plant, just there as it danced in the breeze. A sad expression came over his face.

"You've asked before and I didn't answer. I'm still not ready to talk about recent happenings."

"Recent? You mean Hatsutori?"

"Yes. And you know that all this originally belonged to her."

At that moment Yoko stood up and walked away, leaving Hiei behind with his small guilt. He watched Yoko venture out of the garden and into the house. Knowing what he must do, he sighed.

Yoko wondered through the house aimlessly. He eventually found himself walking into the bedroom, but he had no particular destination, he just needed and wanted to be alone. He needed a quiet area to think.

Walking in his hand swept over the chair. The chair Sayomi would sit in. The same chair he found Hiei sitting in. He had an odd feeling when he touched it. It was this feeling he would get when thought about Hiei and Sayomi before she died, and even Kuronue before her; and he knew what it was.

Now knowing and understanding his feelings he admitted to himself the fear he felt then. Every time he wanted to spend eternity from someone they were always stolen from him by the greatest thief called Death. And he was getting tired of seeing the blood of those he cared for.

He laid down on the bed as he began remembering way back, when it all started. He remembered feeling silky ebony locks between his fingers as he combed through Kuronue's hair. But, his memories of him did not stop there. It was so long ago, but even though he had built up enough strength to ignore it, he always remembered, and always would.

_He was sitting under a tree, a silver kitsune excited about the next day, and the mission that was to be completed. His plan was flawless. They would be in and out without anyone noticing, and someone did see them they would have it handled. _

_He felt a hand on his shoulder as someone sat next to him. Yoko turned to see who it was; Kuronue smiled at him with a seductive glint in his sexy blue eyes. His skin fairly seemed to glow in the light of the moon, so soft and velvety. Yoko could hardly resist the temptation to reach out and stroke his pale cheek._

_"So…for tonight?" The bat demon rested his other hand on Yoko's chest._

_Now it was impossible for Yoko to resist as his hand explored the softness of Kuronue's cheek. Yoko smirked when his thumb brushed across lovely lips. As much as he didn't want to he had to control himself because of the limitations of their unique relationship. But, maybe just once; then what difference would it make? Kuronue started to blush as Yoko leaned forward with a hungry smile._

_"You know me all to well," Yoko whispered instead. Kuronue relaxed, but was a bit disappointed. It was soon forgotten when his neck was being sucked on by the silver kitsune._

_Laying him on the ground Yoko began to strip Kuronue. Knowing his role Kuronue remained silent until the heat of his passion made it unbearable for Kuronue to silence his feelings. After one long moan Kuronue whispered his haunting secret._

_"Yoko, I love you."_

_In his surprise Yoko paused to stare at his disheveled friend, baffled as to the true meaning of his words. Kuronue cursed his own stupidity. He knows that for things like this he wasn't supposed to develop these feelings. Now, he was afraid that he would lose even these moments where he could be so close to Yoko._

_Yoko smirked again and caught Kuronue's lips in a kiss. Before Kuronue could even process what was going on Yoko freed his trapped lips and whispered softly in his ear; lips brushing against it. "I love you, too."_

_Yoko kissed him again and Kuronue, on his own will, submitted to Yoko completely. Kuronue opened his mouth and encouraged the entrance of Yoko's tongue, but he didn't need it. Yoko explored Kuronue's mouth freely. And the whole night their mouths never parted as they truly made love for the first time._

Remembering that the day after that was the day that Kuronue died for him, and he was so confused about what he should do now. His thoughts must have made him weary, because he had dozed off.

--In his dream a song played in the background. It was a slow and sad song. At first he had seen Kuronue. He held him in his arms a while before Kuronue kissed his cheek and released himself from Yoko's embrace. Kuronue started to walk away and soon disappeared as blood poured onto Yoko's hands and tears ran down his cheeks.

But, shortly after Sayomi showed up with her usual smile. With her hand she wiped away Yoko's tears and then pulled out a wet cloth and cleaned off the blood on Yoko's hands. He smiled and hugged her as well until she spit up blood everywhere before becoming limp in his arms. She soon disintegrated as well.

He fell to his knees as rain began to pour over him. When he was staring at the ground in despair he saw feet step up to him. He looked up and it was Hiei staring down at him. He sat up, but the ground below him disappeared. Hiei reached down to grab his hand, but he fell too fast and continued to fall into a black hole.—

He woke suddenly after about a half an hour's rest, and there was the aroma of herbal tea in the air and a small hand combing through his metallic colored hair. He noticed that his head was in Hiei's lap. When he turned his head to look up at Hiei's face he looked apologetic and worried. When Hiei looked so sad it always seemed to break Yoko's heart.

"I brought some tea."

"I see. Thank you."

Hiei poured tea for the both of them. After handing Yoko a cup he sat down on the bed with his own. Yoko took a sip while Hiei just stared at his cup sadly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"If you had, you wouldn't have asked."

Yoko's soft smile was hesitate and didn't hide the pain in his eyes, but he knew that at this time that wasn't something that should hold him back anymore. He placed his cup on the table silently and then took Hiei's cup and did the same. The kitsune motioned for Hiei to come closer; to be present in his arms. As the fire youkai moved Yoko pulled him into his lap. Hiei was wrapped in the scent and warmth of the other as Yoko embraced him in a desperate matter; a scared manner.

But, this was welcoming to Hiei, and he even buried his face in the fox's chest, taking in more of Yoko's scent; more of his warmth; more of what he loved. And the more of Yoko he was taking in, the more he wanted. In his growing desire Hiei stretched up caught Yoko's pale lips in a kiss; his lips; no one else's; just his. And even in his surprise Yoko returned the kiss, and even deepened the kiss.

A smirk formed on the face of the kitsune as he slipped a hand under Hiei's shirt, and it explored the small body that was at its mercy. The cold fingers received a sigh when they discovered a nipple and they began to expertly play. And then he shivered when another cold hand touched his back, and Yoko laid him down. But, Hiei grabbed on to the other's shirt frantically when he tried to pull away from hungry lips, but his impulsive action failed.

The sexy smirk on the kitsune's face grew when he witnessed the hopeless need the other had for him. He bent over to his bitch's ear and whispered seductively "I love you."

Hiei tensed in surprise. No one had ever said those three words to him, and despite the "excitement" at the moment he could tell it was real. Yoko always hated fakes and never counted on cheap tricks to get what he wanted. And realizing this he realized something else as well, but Yoko was also an impatient bastard.

**--BEWARE OF LEMON--**

Yoko's lips acquainted themselves with Hiei's neck and his whole train of thought was gone. Kisses traveled up Hiei's chin and then a small one on his lips before his shirt was gone. Yoko's expert hands traveled down the slim body and invited themselves in Hiei's pants and grabbed Hiei's semi-erection, but obviously not anymore. His back arched as Hiei threw his head back and moaned. Yoko looked pleased as he kissed the other again.

Hiei was already breathing heavier as his pants were being removed by the kitsune. And now overcame, Hiei grabbed the waistline of Yoko's pants and started to slip them down. Yoko grabbed one hand and kissed Hiei's thin fingers, and with his other hand he helped set himself free. Hiei, with his free hand, explored what he could of "his" Yoko. Yoko laughed at the smaller one's curiosity.

Yoko kissed Hiei's cheek before putting three fingers in the fire demon's hot mouth. Hiei knew what was going to happen next and neither one could wait. After a short while Yoko withdrew the fingers, but not purposelessly. Hiei moaned quietly when he felt one of the wet fingers enter him, and he continued as Yoko expertly entered more fingers into the tight space. Yoko removed the fingers when Hiei was ready.

Yoko replaced his fingers with his own arousal, making sure to be careful. Hiei gasped in surprise and tensed at first. Yoko moved, and he relaxed, and so it began. Yoko thrusted in and out of Hiei, making sure to hit Hiei's stiff each time.

Hiei felt like he had died in the middle of his sexual rapture, experiencing pain and pleasure at the same time. He bit his lip, trying to keep in his gratified moans, but Yoko was an evil bastard and wouldn't have that. Hiei nearly screamed when cold hands touched the hardened area and began to pump.

As the night wore on it was getting harder for them to breath, but it was about to come to a close. Both had lost any rational thought, and now they were running on instinct. But, Hiei was close to his climax. With an "oh my god" Hiei came all over Yoko's hand and torso. It was only a couple of seconds later when Yoko came and with a long groan spilt his seed into Hiei.

Yoko collapsed to the side of Hiei, out of breath, and out of energy. After they regained their breath they looked at each other for a while before they laughed about what just happened. Hiei sat up during the laughter, shaking his head in disbelief. And soon the laughter died and there was silence again.

**--END OF LEMON--**

"I love you." Hiei whispered awkwardly, like he was testing how the words would sound when he said them.

Yoko, a completely different person now, smiled at the unsure kawaii youkai. He sat up and kissed the small one like he had done many times.

"I know," Yoko then moved closer to Hiei's ear, "that's why I'm going to tell you a secret. If you look behind the tomato plant you'll see a vase."

"A vase?"

Yoko's face went sad for a second and then he smiled again. "In the vase are ashes of a girl whom I loved and her son whom I never got to see."

"Oh I see. Kinda." Hiei's face showed his slight confusion.

Yoko laughed. "Sayomi's favorite food was tomatoes."

Hiei said nothing in response, but instead looked up at Yoko. When he saw that Yoko had made peace with that part of his life he smiled a little. But, then he remembered something he had heard about Sayomi and others like her.

"Do you—" But before Hiei could ask he was cut off by soft lips on his own. He closed his eyes and let it drop. Everything was so right as they were consumed by the light from the moon watching over them. It was so right.

* * *

No author notes during this chapter! A miracle! I'm patting myself on the back. _(Pat, pat)_ ANYWAYS! I know I have typos. I read it like three times and I saw the typos! I just can't fix them right now. It's hard to explain. TWO MONTHS! IT TOOK ME TWO MONTHS! I think... WELL obviously it was more. Wasn't it? I don't know anymore. I'm tired and I'm probably gonna get caught. (DON'T LOCK ME UP! BAD THINGS **WILL** HAPPEN TO YOU!) So...read, masturbate, review (about the story, not your masturbation). I love you and bishounen. Save the trees, kill the world! Weed, trees, die. Love, muffins and ADIEU! 


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